I am Sure

16 May

Once upon a time I wrote this funny encounter I had with a bathtub that turned out, after a series of discoveries, not to be true.

Additionally, a spouse (who will remain nameless) told me he felt it seemed quite pessimistic.

I felt awful.

I by absolutely no means wanted to sound critical or judging or in a tough bind; in fact, quite the opposite. I am so grateful for where we are and what we have it is just crazy.

But the point is moot.

Either way, it made me realize something huge. Even though this a dorky little blog like ten people read, I can’t under estimate words or moods or adventures. As a volunteer (and, I guess, on a deeper, nerdier level, a person), the last thing I want to do is come across as sounding harsh to my beautiful host country. Or, really, anything in general.  While I won’t pretend that tough challenges and bad moods never grace my doorway, (I mean, they do. A lot.) these might just be things I digest on my own.

It’s hard to find the right balance between being curious and thinking critically and their opposite reactions of judgment and immediacy.

The point is, though I don’t want to lie about realities, I also don’t want to ever misrepresent anything, in any sort of light. I don’t want to write about nothing to be safe, but I also don’t want to write about everything to push or change or alter in ways I shouldn’t.

Maybe you are much smarter than I am – and if you have some advice here, please pass it along. I would love to know what it means to share and think and write – I mean really write something. (Maybe just write for yourself? Write and post later? Send smoke signals? Who’s to say – not me, certainly…)

Until then, friends, here’s my favorite thing I learned today:

If you want to say “I am sure” in Azerbaijani, it goes something like this: Mən əminəm. (Men ah-mee-nahm.)

Get it?

How cool is that.

What is that you express in your eyes?
It seems to me more than all the print I have read in my life.
– Walt Whitman

4 Responses to “I am Sure”

  1. Anonymous May 16, 2013 at 11:46 am #

    “Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative.”
    ~William S. Burroughs

    Perception is nine tenths of the law when it comes to reality. Obviously, you can only make observations based on the evidence available to you at the moment. Insofar as you are a human being, and not a machine, your interpretation of “what is” will necessarily be filtered through the prism of past experience, your current mood, and preconceived notions about the nature of things. As long as the perspective of your commentary is arrived at sincerely and logically there is little reason to sensor yourself. However, when presented with new information, the responsible thing to do is to reevaluate your position and communicate the resulting change of your stance on the matter. This you have done. Kudos to you!

    The degree of catharsis which can be achieved through writing cannot be overestimated. Now, we could pull our punches and only write about the world in terms of what we think someone else would like to hear, but to quote an old Blues tune, “I’d rather drink muddy water, lay down & sleep in a hollow log.” Can you dig it?…I knew that you could.

    My heartiest regards to you both,
    Brian T. Simonds

    • livjnelson May 17, 2013 at 10:47 am #

      Uncle Brian, this is fabulous. Thank you for responding so clearly and with such consideration. Cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. I truly, truly appreciate this, and have definitely saved it to return to later. A million thanks for the wisdom!

  2. timswhateverworld May 16, 2013 at 1:51 pm #

    ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de!!

  3. Lesley May 16, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

    I didn’t think your last post was harsh or judgmental at all – I thought you were remarkably relaxed about the whole bathwater in the dinner situation. I would probably have had a panic attack, because clean water’s just something I take for granted. So don’t feel awful.

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